Rude Car Passenger Behaviors To Avoid

People often evoke “the rules of the road” ― customary driving practices that include legally mandated behaviors, as well as personal etiquette. Don’t forget that call for etiquette applies to passengers, as well as drivers.

From distracting the driver to making a mess, there are many bad passenger behaviors that are not just rude, but dangerous.

To help everyone have safe and incident-free journeys, HuffPost asked etiquette experts to share the common faux pas car passengers should avoid.

“When riding in a car, I am fond of saying, ‘Manners matter, but safety first,’” said Jodi R.R. Smith, the president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting. “Passengers should not be doing anything that is going to distract the driver. These include, but are not limited to screaming, playing music loudly, gesturing wildly, throwing things about the interior, or changing seats while the vehicle is in motion.”

These behaviors don’t just put the driver at risk but also you and every other person on the road.

“Avoid distracting the driver, scaring them or annoying them by pretending to step on the brake, close your eyes, or yell,” echoed Diane Gottsman, the author of “Modern Etiquette for a Better Life” and founder of The Protocol School of Texas.

Embrace your role as a passenger princess, rather than criticizing or otherwise commenting on the driver’s choices.

“Let the driver decide the route,” Gottsman said. “The term ‘backseat driver’ applies to the front seat, as well.”

Even if you’re sitting shotgun, refrain from offering unsolicited advice about turning, gasping loudly at the slightest brake or complaining about slow speeds. This is another way to distract the driver and can potentially lead to a dangerous situation.

People have different rules and preferences around food and beverages in their cars, and you should respect that.

“Always ask before eating or drinking anything, especially in a rideshare vehicle,” advised Nick Leighton, an etiquette expert and co-host of the “Were You Raised by Wolves?” podcast.

Be mindful of the type of refreshments and whether they’re car-friendly as well.

“Avoid bringing food or drink with a strong odor,” urged Mariah Grumet Humbert, the founder of Old Soul Etiquette.

Even if the driver gives you permission to eat and drink in their vehicle, that doesn’t mean you can leave a mess behind when you exit.

“Especially when it is someone else’s car, you should be taking all of your belongings, as well as any trash you have created along the way as you disembark,” Smith said.

Try to avoid making a mess and accumulating trash in the first place.

“We want to respect someone else’s personal property whether it is a close friend or family member’s vehicle or a rideshare provider’s vehicle,” Humbert said.

“The driver is the captain of the ship,” Leighton said. “Don’t adjust anything, such as the music or temperature, without checking in with them first.”

Unless they authorize you to take charge of the playlist and air conditioning, be deferential to their preferences.

“Don’t incite other drivers on the road by making rude gestures from the passenger side of the vehicle,” Gottsman said.

Even if your angry reaction feels justified, avoid escalating the situation. You don’t know how volatile the other driver is.

“As the passenger, if you have snacks, you should be offering to the driver,” Smith said. “If you are running in for coffees, you should offer to buy the driver one as well. Depending on the circumstances, you should also offer to help cover the cost of gas, tolls and parking as appropriate.”

This is particularly important for long drives that will involve a lot of logistics and time.

“Offer to help with gas or parking,” said etiquette expert Juliet Mitchell, also known as Ms. J. “If declined, follow up with a kind thank you text, card, or small gift ― think coffee shop gift card.”

If someone has offered to give you a ride, that doesn’t give you the right to extend that invitation to others without checking with the driver first.

“Don’t bring an uninvited guest,” Leighton said. “Like at a dinner party, arriving with extra people without warning is rude.”

“When you are with a friend or colleague, you should be interacting with each other,” Smith said. “Exceptions occur, including when you are on a multi-day cross-country trip or when dealing with an urgent matter. When you are paying someone to drive you, then checking your messages or carrying on a phone conversation or listening to your own music with earbuds is permissible.”

Indeed, there are different considerations with rideshare or taxi drivers, but you should still be polite.

“Some drivers are chattier than others,” Gottsman said. “If they want to talk and you don’t, you can politely say, ‘Please excuse me. I have to get some work finished.’ Always make sure and leave a tip. One driver looked in his rear view mirror and told me to ‘smile’ when I got in with a migraine headache. I still left him a tip, but was not happy with his not-so funny comment.”

“Not being ready when the driver arrives to your pickup destination is a rude behavior to avoid,” Humbert said.

Whether it’s a rideshare order or a friend you’ve made a plan with, you want to be ready to leave at the designated time.

“Be on time,” Mitchell said. “And never request extra stops without asking first.”